Sleepless in BedStuy

*This entry was originally posted on Medium on December 10, 2016*

If you tell the truth about how you’re feeling, it becomes funny.
-Larry David

So if you’ve been following my posts, you know that I’m big on mental health. It’s something that I believe needs to be talked about more openly.

I’m not saying that we need to talk about our personal issues out in public, but if it’s normal for people to say that they “need to lose weight” or “are out of shape” then it should be just as normal or OK to say when we’re feeling sad, depressed, or anxious.


There’s a stigma to mental health. Typically a lot of judgement or perceived judgement is associated with it. There’s the “emo” stereotype. There’s the term “mental” to negatively describe someone. I’ve even read posts/articles about how people shouldn’t call others “crazy”. This last one I’ve got some issues with, but it has less to do with the mental health aspect and more to do with PC culture. Will have to dive into that another time. But even people you wouldn’t suspect actually suffer from depression.

Anxiety and depression affect more people than most realize. I am not armed with any statistics (which makes me feel very vulnerable right now…I like having good data to support any claims) but so many people don’t even admit that they might have a mental disorder.

It might just be because they don’t know. I think that’s probably the most logical reason, because education around mental health is so poor. Maybe it’s better now…I haven’t stepped inside a classroom in many years. I’m more than 10 years removed from high school and we definitely did NOT learn much about mental health.

I’ve always had trouble falling asleep because when I close my eyes when I go to bed, my brain goes into hyperdrive and a lot of thoughts just surface up. I over think and over analyze everything.

I don’t hate going to sleep, because who doesn’t like going to sleep? But I do often go to sleep with anxiety knowing that I will have difficulty falling asleep.

I know I’m not alone in this. I also don’t know how to accurately put into words what I experience. I admit I’m bad at explaining things.

Having difficulty sleeping is a physical issue, but physical and mental health is so intertwined that the state of one impacts the other.

I need to learn to chill and meditate. Headspace doesn’t work for me. Self hypnosis is very difficult to achieve (but I try). I don’t drink a lot so I don’t like to have night caps.

I am trying to embrace my hyperactive brain and overall restlessness. Maybe accepting will help me sleep. We shall see!